Parental Advisory Explicit Content

Overheard at the Zoo this weekend:

Boy: "Hey Dad, what's that elephant doing?"
Dad: "Oh nothing. It's just hanging out."
Boy: "WOAH, what is that?"

[the elephant proceeds to squat and take an impossibly large dump]

Boy: "EWWWW, it's going POO!"
Dad: "No no no, it's not going poo."
Boy: "Yeah it is. Look!"
Dad: (in an increasingly rushed tone) "nonono, it's not going poo."

[the elephant finishes dropping the kids off at the pool and starts to flood the ground with gallons of pee]

Boy: "WOAH! OMIGOD. Is it going pee??? Ewwwwww!"
Dad: "No no no no, it's not going pee! Move outta the way!"

[the following 30 seconds involves a chaotic situation with more piss, yelling, and a father's attempt at thwarting his son's understanding of bodily functions]

Hey Dad, when your son becomes thoroughly confused between right and wrong and eventually starts turning tricks at the docks, you'll know why.